WILL THE REAL NARUTO CHARACTERS PLEASE STAND UP?
by The Goddess of the Madhouse
Summary: The rest of you OC’s please sit down….and Mary Sue’s into the furna...I mean bishi room… A parody of OC's, and what they're really like.
1. Mary sue

This story is supposed to be a spinoff of a oneshot I did a year ago. Pretty much making fun of OC pairings, specifically KakaOC. We're going to have tons of stuff you'll see in OC fics and lots of stuff you probably have in your own story.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I be on here?

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This is the story of a girl named Luka, an OC who was about to be transported to a far off land to meet ninja's and fall in love… "Really?" No. "Damn." Anyway, let's get onto the story…Luka was walking around her neighborhood, when she was attacked by hobos with magical powers. She, being a blackbelt in Ju jitsu, Krav maga, go geru and Yaoi, avoided their attacks and continued home. As she got home she was met with her mother, yelling at her, and her father threatening her. She quickly ran out the door, with her bag in hand and ran away. _Why does my life have to suck?_ She asked herself as she kicked a stone in her way. She came to a puddle that was as wide as the street that she'd have to wade through if she wanted to get across. A few questions come to mind, such as: 1. why would she have to wade through a puddle, and 2. she lives in Las Vegas, and it hasn't rained for months, where'd the puddle come from? (A/N: well those are all very good questions) She began to walk through the puddle when suddenly she fell through a plot hole! 

"Aieee! I'm gonna die!" How nice for you. "Hey, aren't you going to help me?" Nope, I'm just the narrator, and while I am all powerful, the story would end too quickly if I did. "So it won't end fast if I DIE?!?" Nope. Just watch. "Right now where was I?" Screaming for your life. "Thanks! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" She braced herself for impact, and waited, but nothing happened. As she opened her eyes, she saw a rooftop, getting closer. She made impact and passed out.

As Luka woke up she noticed something silver she closed her eyes, and rolled over, before coming to a realization and shooting up in the bed again. _OMFG It's…It's_ Luka stuttered, at a loss for words **_Kakashi!_** Her inner self, named Klau screamed in her head. **_Hmm, what should we do first? Take his mask off_**? **_Hide anything that isn't either pink or purple? Rape him?_** Klau ranted excitedly _KLAU! You can't say stuff like that! Think about the flamers!_ Luka shuddered at the thought.

Kakashi woke up at this time, to find a blond haired, blue eyed girl in his bed. _Naruto playing a dumb prank again. Is it happy red circle day?_ He asked himself, deciding to play along, he hugged the girl in bed with him "Good morning honey." He smirked beneath his mask.

Luka immediately freaked out "You perverted freak!" she yelled and tossed him off the bed **_No, no! Don't beat him up! Hug him back, take his mask off! Get out the pink socks!_** Klau yelled as Luka punched him in the gut.

_Oh yeah, I'm supposed to fall in love with him, huh? _Not if the fangirls have anything to say about it. _They don't, do they?_ We'll see…

Kakashi by now had figured out that this girl was not Naruto _but who is she? _He asked himself _furthermore, who is this voice narrating?_ Oh, don't mind me, I'll only show up in the plot to annoy the OC. _OC?_ Don't ask. Concentrate on the girl in your bed, the voice in your head will shut up for a while. _That sounds promising._ It shouldn't. _I was being sarcastic._ Uhh, girl in your room. Focus on HER. _Right._ Kakashi said turning to the girl, who seemed lost in thought. "Who are you?"

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GOTM: So, that's the first chapter. Ooh, cliffy! Tell me what you think about it. And remember, everytime you flame, god kills a kitten. 


	2. Hyper much?

Thanks for waiting for this. I know this chapter is crappy, but I've gotta introduce 4 OC's who are each really different, and will be bugging different people. Bear with me.

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"Itachi, you must retrieve the item I'd asked for" Leader-sama ordered, from the couch. 

"Hai, Leader-sama." Itachi nodded. _I still don't understand why he can't get his own cocoa-puffs._ He grumbled to himself, while walking outside.

Leila always dreamed about going into her favorite anime, and manga. She never thought it would come true, but she would always dream. Then, one day, she came across an enormous mud puddle, because the author can't think of anything else! "hmm, well better step through i-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she fell through the clouds, and somehow landed safely in a tree.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She looked up to see none other then the great Uchiha Itachi standing before her. _Did she just fall from the sky?_

"Hey!" At last her dream was realized! She was in her favorite anime "I wanted to go to Dragonball Z! They have limitless amounts of food, and you can never die!" or not "Well, whatever this'll have to do." She stood up and dusted herself off, then looked at Itachi.

"Did you just fall from the sky?"

"Mhmm! It was fun." She noticed the box in his hand "Are you coocoo for cocoa puffs?"

Itachi glared at her "these are for leader-sama." He answered.

"Why did you just tell me that?"

Damn. She got him there _will you please shut up?_ I make no promises "Because, you're coming with me." He replied, and knocked her out.

LATER

"You did WHAT?" The leader roared.

"She was in my way." Itachi answered.

"So you brought her home? Why couldn't you have killed her?"

"She fell from the sky."

This stopped him "She what?"

He sighed "Fell from the sky."

Leader paused for a moment in deep thought. This girl may be worth a lot of money. "Very well, you will tend to her, and keep her away from Zetsu. There's no telling what he may think if he sees a girl alone here. Probably that he can eat her."

Itachi nodded and took her away.

When Leila woke up she was in a dark room. Itachi sat on a chair nearby, painting his nails, and Kisame was feeding some fish "Oh my god! Itachi!" she shrieked, causing both men to look up.

"What?" he demanded. She made him smear his nail polish.

"I'm alive!" she sat up "I thought I'd be fish food once I saw you, if you know what I mean." Was there something wrong with this girl?

"I convinced leader-sama to let you live. Why did you fall from the sky?"

"She fell from the sky?" Kisame asked.

She scratched her head "Not sure, I was walking and I fell through this mud puddle, and then I was falling through the sky."

"That's it?" she nodded "How boring. Hey, Itachi, can we feed her to Zetsu now?"

"No Kisame, we may not." He got up and walked out of the room.

"Hey, Kisame….why are you blue?"

"Well, my dad was a shark and my mom was a woman, but I'm okay with that now."

"Oh. Why does Itachi have those lines under his eyes?"

"Permanent marker." He replied, walking back in.

"Are you coocoo for cocoa puffs?"

"sure."

"cool! Can you do the cocoa puff thing?"

"no."

"Aww! But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!" she whined. "Why why why why why!!!!!!?!"

"Is there something wrong with you?" Kisame asked.

"I ate a bowl of raw sugar for breakfast." Kisame nodded.


End file.
